Bell End Marge Returns to The Catskills. There are Fireworks.

With the pundits forecasting Brooklyn temperatures in the high 90’s, Bell End Marge decided to take a 4th of July break and head 175 miles north, to the place of her birth; Bovina, village of the oreo-stained cow and the naughty half-rhyme. It is not widely known that our Margery – the doyenne of sophisticated urban poisoners – actually slithered into being amidst the rolling hills, the clucking chickens, the beating husbands and bubbling meth labs of the Northwestern Catskills, where men are men and goats are always an option. She was, of course, a home birth. Conceived by hippie, beardy types; soft men like tender Bedlington Terriers, bullish women with pugs. All with facial hair. Part of her placenta was whipped into a raw juice with kale and spirulina, then shot up the asses of Berkshire pigs to increase bacon yields.

Marge’s return to the Catskills was marked by fireworks at the homes of Peter Schjeldahl and Brooke Alderson, then further fireworks at Carver and Sonya Farrell’s; none of whom, astonishingly, are currently Bellenders. And for the true glitterati, an opportunity to meet Marge close up and personal, ¬†in the sultry confines of Selwyn Lovely’s country seat. The eyes tell the tale.

Meredith Munn

Hyers Arm, Kalen Kaminski, Marge, Gentl Torso, Lovely Arm

Selwyn Lovely and Andrea Gentl

Kalen Kaminski, Marge

Kristie Burnett

Winnie Richards

Meredith (Chip) Munn

Steve Burnett, Bottle Rocket from the loins …

Kristie Burnett, Bottle Rocket from the calves …

Selwyn Lovely & Winnie Richards

(All photographs: Marty Hyers)

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