Das Glockenende Fahrt: The People’s Car, Bell End Branded

In an effort to ensure that the sun never sets on the Bell End Empire, we welcome the latest addition to the family: Helmut. Launched last night with a bottle of prosecco (and two thirds of a bottle of Campari) by the impossibly lovely Cheryl Masaitis, ably assisted by Alex Tehrani, Kit Martin, Dean Kaufman and Selwyn Lovely. Post-launch vittles, the Darks, the Stormies, the Manhattans, courtesy of Roman’s. What happened to Sara Glick? And before you ask: yes, we did try to get Helmut in glistening purple, but no, it’s not a colour VW has available.

Helmut Von Glockenede

Helmut augments the already considerable range of Bell End, providing a link between Brooklyn Mission Control and Planet Bovina: grim, featureless, bereft of life. Think of it as a kind of space shuttle with Sirius XM and a mudcake exoskeleton. It is toll-fine resistant, having no visible license plates. It also provides a fourth bedroom for those occasions when all the others (along with couch 1 and couch 2) are already occupied. Not to mention a place to go snog when all the familiar snog-zones are in use. Could use a snog right now, actually. And as you can see, it comes hand-etched with the Bell End logo.

If you hear Helmut coming down your street, playing La Habanera from Carmen, please stop me and buy one.

This entry was posted in Announcements and tagged with , , , , , .

One Response to Das Glockenende Fahrt: The People’s Car, Bell End Branded

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *