Big Bellenders

In alphabetical order:

Grant Cornett – brings circus-like epicurean skills, two weeks of laundry and a lithe, prison physique to the Curious George suite at Bell End. Come to think of it, there’s a bit of Curious George in Grant; along with bits of Jimmy Somerville. Or maybe Ian Hislop had a threeway with a Pikey bare-knuckler and Li’l Wayne. recently promoted to Big Bellender status, following his legendary rendering of miso-oxtail stuffed suckling pig for 40. Annoyingly good photographer too.

Jack White / Grant Cornett

Andrea Gentl – Madonna of the Tarte aux Pommes de Terre, likely prepared with feral pommes and some weird green shit she picked up in Bhutan. We go back centuries, almost to before the Dawn of Time. She used to harvest wild trochodendron spore pods whilst I held off the shrieking triceratops with my tiger-tooth sabre. Photographer, forager, blogger, Big Bellender, and mother to a pair of beautiful feral pommes of her own.

Nancy Iacoi – Navajo Squaw, frequently ex-photo editor, current agent to photographers and platonic partner to Andrea Gentl in a languid, drunken crawl round the eateries and drinkeries of Brooklyn. One props the other up, they giggle like Shane MacGowan and wipe away each other’s drool. Ask to see the picture in the deli with the mohawk from about 1753, so cute you could bake her and nibble off her crusts.

Abram Kempthorne – heterodox guerilla carpenter, latterday Mennonite and uncertain pillar of functional disarray. Employed his own brand of pirate autism to forge Bell End’s brontosauran table from one of its original, 24 foot beams. Can fashion a coffee table from bowling alley lanes and pig iron; or an embalming hallucinogen from a 6 pack of PBR, a bucket of woodshop paint-stripper and a can of lighter fluid. Ordinarily arrives with fresh wounds and eye rings to shame a raccoon.

Neil Powell – artist, part-time Bovina resident, Kentucky exile, African breast-feeding information blanket inventor, design enfant terrible and reluctant scion of all things Advertising. His first show at Bell End – Bandits -¬†attracted the largest number of new Bellenders since the space’s inception, and we’re certain it had absolutely nothing to do with the absinthe or gumbo. Eyebrow-raising taste in sports-jackets, has also been known, on occasion, to bend it like Beckham.

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